I think I’ve heard the phrase, “Pretty is as pretty does,” from almost every southern woman in my life at least once. I’d always nod, smile, and come to the conclusion that they were just telling me to be nice. Though that’s true, I didn’t really understand what, “Pretty is as pretty does,” meant until I was a little bit older. I never saw what a call to action that phrase was until I realized the impact I have on my two sweet little cousins, Kara and her little sister Kallie.
Here’s Kara and Kallie in 2019 :)
Here’s Kara and me in 2012!
Over the last ten years with Kara, the same southern women who preached, “Pretty is as pretty does,” also warned me to be careful how I acted because Kara would follow my lead exactly. Again, I’d smile, nod, and come to the conclusion that they’re telling me not to rob a bank or something. I couldn’t possibly affect what Kara did that much, right?
Suddenly, everytime I sang, Kara sang along. She even started liking songs almost solely because I showed them to her (“Stepsisters Lament” from Cinderella). She loved when I made up dances for her to learn, and she loved it even more when I’d do her makeup. Sounds like a totally sweet gig, right? Well...
The problem, I noticed, was when I got frustrated, she followed suit. When I got annoyed and complained for five minutes, she’d start rolling her eyes in annoyance too. I realized I had a lot of control over how she’d learn to react to situations. That’s a lot for an 11-year-old to process! It was so much more fun to complain, right? Well, it wasn’t very fun to have a shadow complaining alongside you. I know misery loves company, but this was different.
I knew there had to be a reason I would get so upset at Kara copying all the negative things I did. After some serious thinking, I realized I hated seeing such ugly actions come from such a pretty little girl. I knew what a good heart Kara had. I knew she was kind, funny, and beautiful. However, when she’d copy my ugly actions, it was a lot harder to see just how pretty she was.
After learning how to better react to minor inconveniences, I understood that not only do I need to avoid being a negative influence, but I need to strive to be a positive one. Just when I almost had it figured out, Kallie was born in 2017, and I knew Kara would be in for the same ride I just encountered. I relayed to Kara the same information those wise southern women did to me: “Pretty is as pretty does,” and, “Whatever you do, Kallie will copy it, so be careful.”
Over the last few years I’ve watched Kallie eagerly follow in Kara’s footsteps, and each time Kara uses her power for good, my heart gets a little happier. One of the first beauty tips a young girl should ever hear is that they’re only as pretty as their actions are. So to my beautiful little cousins (and everyone else) be kind, be strong, be pretty, and never forget that someone, just a little younger than you, can’t wait to see what you do next.