Before sixth grade, the only makeup in my possession was reserved for dance competitions. If you aren’t familiar with stage makeup, that entailed a foundation a tad too dark for me to show up on stage, purple or green eyeshadow, and usually bright red or pink lipstick. Obviously I couldn’t wear that everyday, but that all changed in the first semester of sixth grade. My mom took me to get everyday makeup. I believed I had reached the epitome of womanhood. Everyday makeup? Natural makeup? Where was this all coming from? Whatever. It didn’t matter. I was hooked.
If you saw me at any given moment in sixth or seventh grade, I probably looked like this. That exact makeup look, usually wearing a bandana in my hair.
I wouldn’t be caught dead without my precious everyday makeup.
Nonetheless, one day in seventh grade I didn’t wear makeup, and it really was terrifying. I didn’t wake up late; I made the conscious decision to go to school bare-faced. When I walked into first period, I heard a snicker from the assistant teacher. Assuming it had nothing to do with me, I sat down. She walked over to me and said, “Are you sick?”
My head dropped a little as I responded, “No ma’am. I just didn’t wear makeup today.”
She said, “Did you wake up late?”
My head dropped a little lower. “No ma’am. I just didn’t want to wear makeup today.”
“Oh. Okay,” she exhaled as she walked to the other side of the classroom.
If that wasn’t mortifying enough, an eighth grader walked up to me in the hallway and asked me if I had shaved my eyebrows. Needless to say, I wore makeup for the rest of the year. I couldn’t imagine having a conversation like that again. I already hated myself enough; I didn’t need validation telling me I should.
The summer between 7th and 8th grade was one of major growth. I went to church camps, Girl Scout camp, and theatre camp, and in the midst of all the activities, I had less time to hate myself. Don’t misunderstand: it was still sprinkled throughout my day, but it was exhausting to try and wake up early to wear makeup at camp. No one cared. No one wore makeup. We wore bandanas, braided our hair, and brushed our teeth. If you didn’t smell bad, no one would say anything to you.
Taking the time to get used to my bare face was crucial to becoming comfortable with it. Obviously if I never even saw myself without makeup, no one else would be used to it either.
It was around this time I saw the infamous NikkieTutorials Youtube video, “The Power of Makeup,” and for the first time since I first got everyday makeup, makeup didn’t seem like a burden. It seemed like an art form. For those unfamiliar, in Nikkie’s video, she completely glams half of her face and leaves the other side untouched.
I decided to give it a try. “The Power of Makeup” was about empowering both sides of your face. It was about realizing that both sides were beautiful because they’re both your face.
no makeup, slept on curled hair :)
So now, if you see me on any given day, you’ll see any variety of the following pictures or how I look on my Youtube channel. Maybe I’m wearing makeup, maybe I’m not. Maybe I’m just wearing mascara. Maybe my hair is straight or I’m wearing it curly, like it is naturally. Maybe it’s braided or I’ve gone four days without washing it. No matter what, you will see me, and just like my mood, my appearance has “better days” than others, but beneath it all is me. I’d like to think I’m less awkward than I was 5 years ago, but who can really say?
curled hair, makeup done :)