The last two months have been insane for me (and everyone else, I’m pretty sure). Between college applications and 13 classes my senior year, I barely have time to breathe. So, I’ve been taking a lot of time for myself when I can. I was able to take Creative Writing this semester, which has given me a lot of opportunities to write poems with more motivation. I want to make sure I’m finishing my last section of high school strong, but it’s taking a lot of effort to manage my time.
I submitted my last college application last week, which was the LARGEST weight off of my chest. Throughout this process, I’ve relied heavily on prayer and affirmations. I have been constantly reminding myself that I am capable, I am enough, and I am good.
I’ll save all the sappy senior stuff for my last blog post, but I will say that the fact that it’s my last year of high school has really hit me. I’ve been trying to not avoid those feelings because I know they need to be addressed, but for now I’ll talk about a few of the main ways I survived college application season.
1. Giving myself a break.
I had so many applications due in very short time frames. That being said, I had a lot of essays to write, a lot of questions to answer, and very big shoes to fill. The most important thing was to allow myself time to do something I wanted to do— like going on a walk or watching the 1951 version of Alice in Wonderland. I would only let myself work on college applications for 4-6 hours at a time (that sounds like a lot, but I promise it’s not when you’re trying to convey your entire personhood on paper). I would always check over them before going to sleep then review them with my mom before submitting them.
2. Knowing my worth.
I’ve had a lot of thoughts about not being good enough the last few months. I obsessively wonder if I’m smart enough or qualified enough to attend my dream schools. I always worried that just being qualified at my school wasn’t enough. Here’s where the affirmations come in— luckily, I’m surrounded by people who truly want to see me succeed and believe I will do so. I started reiterating the things my friends, family members, and teachers would tell me anytime I had a season of doubt. I would look stare at my laptop screen and say, “I am kind. I am smart. I am capable. I am good.” I realized that through this process, the only person who was doubting was me, which really shaped my perspective.
3. Schedules!
I usually don’t schedule things. I’m typically the worst at keeping a planner, but I knew that this season of my life required more. I knew that if I did the same thing over and over again for a month, I would get overwhelmed and get into a slump. So, I made a new schedule to work on college applications each week to not get bored. I would always have one day that I worked on college applications for a total of 8-10 hours; sometimes that was all day on Saturday, sometimes it was right after school until bedtime, and sometimes it was Sunday afternoon and evening. I worked it around what I was already doing so I didn’t feel too restrained. I knew I wanted to get coffee with a friend on Friday? Okay, so Friday won’t be my intense day.
4. FINALLY: They don’t last forever.
Honestly, one of the only things getting me through the last few months was knowing that all of this stress (that I could control the outcome of) would be over by the end of January. I took everything one day at a time and did the best I could, but I was always looking forward to the light at the end of the tunnel. Now, anything I can control (besides interviews, of course) is out of my hands in the admissions process.
Give yourself a break. Know your worth. Let yourself schedule. Know nothing lasts forever (especially not this). I’ll keep y’all updated with this whole college thing :) !