my bracelet reminding me of this project :)
Recognizing we all fight similar battles is important. I’ve believed that since I found out I actually wasn’t alone when I thought I was the most awkward person on the face of the earth in middle school. I wanted to talk to my cousin’s girl scout troop about this, but how was I going to ensure it wouldn’t be awkward?
Friendship bracelets.
Something fun to do to take some of the pressure off of the conversation. Something they can wear everyday to remind themselves that they have friends who are going through the same things they are.
A little nervous, but mostly excited, I walked into a classroom with six 5th grade girls inside that I’ve known my whole life. For a split second, I wondered if they even did struggle with the same things I did, but then the survey results came in.
I put together a quick little survey for the girls to take before we started discussing. It was all yes or no questions, and the girls sat apart taking it (I took it too). Once they finished, I took all the surveys up and randomly passed them back out. I asked everyone to stand if the paper said yes and to sit if it said no. At one point, we were all standing on a question that reflected our self-image in a… less than healthy way.
A little bit of the pressure is lifted off of my shoulders. They were telling funny stories about embarrassing things that happened to them as recent as that day, talking about very real struggles they face, and recognizing that their friends are all going through the exact same things.
“Sometimes I get really scared my friends are taking bad about me.”
“I did something really stupid because a girl was talking to the boy I like.”
“I feel like I’m the only one that doesn’t really like myself.”
It felt like I took a time machine and was talking to six different versions of my past self.
What was so crazy is that once an issue like awkwardness or insecurity was brought up, they had so much to say about it. They didn’t hold back at all because they wanted to talk about it. They wanted someone to hear them. I thought it’d be more difficult to get them started on talking about their issues, but they were so open.
Once we started making bracelets, I wasn’t nervous at all. They told me they really did feel a lot better knowing they weren’t alone. I told them that now, when they feel alone, they can look at their new friendship bracelets and feel connected to the rest of their troop and me.
One of the survey questions asked if the girls knew what the word “empower” meant, and most of the girls asked me a million times to tell them what it meant before we got around to it. When I told them that to empower someone means to make them feel better about themselves and one of the girls said, “So if someone is talking bad about my friend, even if she isn’t there, I need to empower her by standing up for her,” I smiled, and confidently responded, “Exactly.” I told them that it’s hard to empower others if we don’t feel empowered ourselves, and they all nodded. I think they really understood that “empower” was more than just some new vocabulary word.
When they asked me if I could come back every month for their meetings, I felt the way I knew they did: relieved, at peace, and more confident than I was an hour before. Sometimes, all we really need to do is talk and listen. And make a couple of adorable friendship bracelets, but I think that one goes without saying.