Picture this: the year is 2013. 11-year-old Erin is blaring “Little Things” by One Direction. To say I felt awkward and alone would be understatements. See, I was taller than everyone in my class. 5’2 in 5th grade? I thought surely something had to be wrong with me. I stopped believing I was pretty when I started feeling like a skyscraper. Not only did I not know that I wouldn’t exactly grow after this, but I didn’t know that being taller than everyone didn’t mean everyone hated me. I also fangirled very hard for Justin Bieber and One Direction, so I assumed people found that… passion annoying. So, “Little Things” kept playing.
Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, we’ve all been there. That’s exactly why I’m doing this. I want us to stop feeding other people poison apples because we believe we aren’t as pretty as them. I was the girl with snow-white skin, and I was the insecure one. Wicked witch vs. herself and everyone else—you get it. I also want us to stop feeding ourselves poison apples because we don’t think we’re good enough.
Anyway, this snow-white wicked witch basically lived day-by-day waiting on Forever 21’s next sale, all the while wearing Under Armor headbands over ponytails to school (and not the cute, messy kind).
Long story short, preteen Erin was so sad, and I really wish I could give her a hug. She had no idea how much she was worth. Now, it’s junior year and I’m nearly 18. It’s only been about 7 years since I was throwing poison apples at myself and everyone else, and I guess you could still say I need a hug every now and then. Do I have everything figured out? Absolutely not, but I know what I did to help me say, “I feel pretty,” and believe it. Are there still some days that aren’t the best? Definitely. There are always enough poison apples to go around. Obviously not everyday is easy just because I’m less insecure now.
Feeling pretty doesn’t mean you never feel bad about yourself. It means that no matter the bad you think you see, you can still FIND good, and hopefully, eventually, possibly, we can debunk the lies that are way too easy to believe—the ones that say we’re way too much or not even close to enough. By accepting ourselves, we learn to accept others. We’re all in the same boat. We’re all just trying to avoid poison apples, right?
Now, even when I don’t feel like “the fairest of them all,” I don’t feel like a wicked witch either. On this site, I’m going to authentically share how I finally woke up from this unhealthy thought process, and spoiler alert: it had nothing to do with Prince Charming. We’re all a work in progress, and as far as I Feel Pretty is concerned, we’re all working, making progress together.